Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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