im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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