I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
