Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
