I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
