She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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