Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
