**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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