Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
