it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
