why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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