dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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