Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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