Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
