I bet he comes in French.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
