you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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