I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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