You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
