What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
