She announced her abortion via fbk
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
