New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
