This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
