Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
