Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
