No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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