I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
