ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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