do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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