i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
