Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
whose parrot is this?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
