I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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