So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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