I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
