gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
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