good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
