dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
