I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
