Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
