...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
