Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
