Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
