Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
