why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
