then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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