I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
