Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
