Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
