maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
