proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
