Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm having to shit out rocks
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