Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
